Can you believe we’re in September already?
I’m so grateful, because the month of August is always a rough month for me, emotionally… Well, at least for the past 10 years, it has been.
I’ve been working HARD to distract myself the last week or two, which is partly why I had opted to do double-workout days last week.
Still, the uneasy feelings creep up on me, and I start having flashbacks, shaky hands, tears welling up unexpectedly, nausea, the whole package.
I wanted to write a detailed recollection of what happened from my perspective during that fateful weekend in 2005 and the months thereafter… and I just can’t bring myself to do it yet.
Maybe in a few months when it doesn’t feel so raw, because this past week or so, the wound was apparently reopened. A few months ago it wouldn’t have felt so rough– the idea of writing about it–but this past week there have been so many posts all over social media and special reports on the news all about the 10-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. It really dredged up some hard feelings and I have found myself struggling to cope again.
We lost everything but our lives that day – and even though we didn’t physically lose our lives, we lost the lives that we knew. We have never been the same since, nor will we ever go back to who we were before. Enduring incredible tragedy, complete decimation of a region, having your world uprooted… It’s not easy.
What really hurt was that we were marginalized and overlooked; to this day, when I talk to people outside of the southeastern USA, they don’t even realize that Hurricane Katrina even HIT the Mississippi Gulf Coast! I’ve even had people argue with me and call me a liar and claim that “everybody knows” that the storm hit New Orleans!
Hello, newsflash: Bay St. Louis, Mississippi was “ground zero”. Thanks but no thanks.
And of course, 10 years later, my sadness, anger, and feelings of despair have resurfaced.
Really though, what’s the point of being SO angry? Nothing good, that’s for sure.
I refuse to let it claim me again. The depression that I experienced in the years following Hurricane Katrina was like no other downward spiral in my history. If you have read any of my earlier posts or know me in real life, you might recall that I have bipolar disorder and that my depressive cycles are incredibly deep and dark – feeling nearly impossible to survive at times.
From fall 2005 until spring 2009, I don’t know how I ever pulled through, but for the grace of God.
Today, I feel that familiar gloom and so I know that I must make a concerted effort to combat it.
Beginning next week, I’ll begin Periscoping every evening at 9PM CST, and I want YOU to logon. We will discuss our gratitude for the day. Each night, I’ll ask you, “What makes you feel grateful today?” I took a little vote last week via my various social media accounts and asked whether people would prefer a “Morning Motivation” regular Periscope broadcast, or a “Bedtime Blessings” broadcast. The voters decided that “Bedtime Blessings” was more needed, so that’s what we will have!
I feel that it’s really important to recognize the good things happening in our lives every day. It can be so easy to get stuck on the rough spots and to dwell on negativity. However, if we stop comparing ourselves to others and we point out what we HAVE instead of what we DON’T have, it makes a big difference in our demeanor and our perspectives.
The power of thinking positively, especially before bed, is huge! When you go to bed with a positive attitude, you are more likely to get better rest. This means you are also more likely to wake up feeling rested!
So, I’m telling you right now — Get the FREE Periscope app, and FOLLOW me!! My username on there is the same as my Twitter username: @NataliePalombi.